A Discussion

Number 1
I'll be honest, I like you. And probably more importantly, I respect you. You're a man of integrity and principle and I'm drawn to your character. In fact, I think I've probably liked you for a long time but I haven't allowed myself to recognize what exactly it is I feel/felt for you. 


Number 2
I take my relationships quite seriously. With me, there really is no in between. I think that because we know each other so well and because we have an understanding (somewhat) of what we both want in the long term, the whole concept of "lets just see where this goes" isn't really possible. Basically, whatever we have automatically has some level of seriousness and, dare I say, exclusivity because we are such good friends and because we respect each other so much. I don't want anything that will deteriorate into "just a fling". I value our friendship far too much to reduce it to that. I believe in intentionality when pursuing relationships and I think that this is important from a Christian point of view. 


Number 3
Having said that, I agree that there is value in taking things slowly. We know each other as friends and we've shared a lot but this doesn't automatically translate into being "right" for each other or understanding each other's relationship needs as a man or as a woman. I want to get to know you even better and hopefully you want the same thing too. 


Number 4
As the man, I believe in letting you take the lead and providing some direction for the nature of this relationship. When a man wants something, he goes after it and doesn't have to be pushed. So if this is what you want, I expect you to show it and to initiate. I think based on all that I've shared with you about my past relationship and about my parents' marriage, you probably already know how important this is to me. 


Number 5
I know you brushed this off when I first brought it up, but I think the issue of your ex-girlfriend is a real one and needs to be addressed at some point. She and I recently became friends, partly for your benefit. Now that you've split, if you and I ever decide to become a "we" then I will need to tell her. Otherwise, it feels like I am betraying a friend, particularly because she opened up to me  a bit about some of her feelings concerning your relationship. Plus, we all have common friends and our relationship can't exist outside of these friendships so I have to keep in mind how improper things might appear from the outside in. I don't want anyone feeling hurt or backstabbed in all this. 


Number 6
Let's both take the appropriate amount of time needed to heal some of the hurts or work through some of the difficult emotional spillovers of our past relationships. And probably talk about them with each other too, so we both know what to expect and we both understand how our past experiences may influence our current points of view. 


Number 7 
And ultimately, we're both Christians so there's a higher standard we're called to. Let's pray about this and gain an understanding of if this is really God's will for both of us. On the same note, we also need to set physical boundaries. For me, sex before marriage is completely out of the question. And to take it a step further, we should both try not to put each other in compromising situations.